Learning to Listen

 Today was my final radiation treatment! Radiation was 5 days a week for 16 days and I am very thankful to be done! The side effects started to hit last week, and the doctor said the radiation toxicity will continue to build over the next week or two, before gettting better. He also said I would be back to normal in 4 - 6 weeks, which is awesome, because I have never been normal! 🤣

As the skin irritation and fatigue have set in, I am learning once again to try and listen to my body. I HATE naps, and so when I say I have been taking daily naps, you should know that it has gotten bad. The current plan is lots of rest to let my body recover, so I can be feeling well enough to provide childcare for my granddaughter by the end of the month. 

Both the cancer diagnosis and the birth of our first grandchild have really made me start to think through how I spend my time. I have deleted some apps and social media platforms, and really limited screen time in general, as I look forward to being fully present for that precious little baby. Once you stop checking your phone constantly, you start to see that everyone else is doing that very thing.

Over the past couple of weeks, I have spent a lot of time in a changing room with other women receiving radiation for cancer. We shared this bond in common, along with sitting in a gown without our cell phones. I quickly discovered that just walking in and saying "Hello" to break the ice led to conversations. While we were going through something similar, many of these women had a more grim prognosis and grueling treatment regimen than I did. 

With my phone in the locker, I was also learning to listen to strangers. It didn't take much effort. I simply greeted each person, listened when they talked, and shared my story and faith as I was able. I hope I was able to make someone's day a little less heavy. A couple of the women seemed to really need some support and encouragement. I am glad I got bolder as the days went on to speak to each person, while being sensitive to any that would not want to be bothered (surprisingly every woman I met was very willing to share their journey).

May I encourage you to put down your phone and look for an opportunity to listen to someone around you today!

Ringing the bell after my last radiation treatment.

Until Next Time~

Shari

Shamrock Sprinkles

 On March 17, 1991, I was baptized just moments before our 6-week-old son was baptized. Neither myself nor my son were saved that day, and it would be years before our spiritual journey would allow us to better understand what baptism is and why that day was important. In just 12 days, we get the privilege of being present in church while our first grandchild is baptized! 

I am not a theologian, and do not want to get deep into the reasons for infant baptism but rather want to celebrate what God is doing in our hearts and lives. Just briefly, I will say that baptism does not save us, Christ alone saves. Baptism is a sign and a seal of God's covenant promises to His children and their children and does not promise salvation to anyone. Rather, the waters of baptism mark the child as part of the visible covenant community, calls them to a future faith and repentance, and points us all to the promises of God.

I will not retell our entire story of how we came to faith in this post, but you can read about that here. Our children were 5 and 7 years old when we came to faith in Christ. From that moment until this one, I have prayed that my children (and their children) would come to a place of faith and repentance. "I will establish my covenant between me and you and your offspring after you throughout their generations for an everlasting covenant, to be God to you and to your offspring after you." (Genesis 17:7)

We pray that Maddie is the first of many grandchildren, and we pray for all of them, even before they are born, that God might call them to faith in Jesus Christ. The past few weeks, my heart has been stirred during church, bringing tears to my eyes as I see afresh God's Word. I am sure there will be tears again, as we are reminded of God's faithfulness pictured in Maddie's baptism on March 29.

"I have no greater joy than to hear that my children are walking in the truth." (3 John 1:4)

Until Next Time~

Shari

Treatment (Finally) Begins!

 And the good news just keeps on coming! After waiting 8 weeks, I finally had the MRI yesterday and it looked good. I will have to repeat all the tests in 6 months, but today I had my radiation simulation appointment (a non-treatment planning session). I am scheduled and ready to start radiation on March 24. Next week I will return to the oncologist to start anti-estrogen meds.

My whole story really seems like a miracle! A routine mammogram and ultrasound in September 2025 found nothing. My breast surgery on January 13 just "happened" to remove the area of cancer, and the pathologist found it. ALL of the testing came back with the best possible outcome. I praise the Lord for this great mercy!! Yet, I still have cancer, it is emotional and difficult, and it still sucks even if it is stage 1.  Pray for minimal side effects, response to treatment, and no recurrence. As I have said before, please always pray that I would suffer well, and may God be glorified through all of this!

You may have heard that we are grandparents now! Sweet little Maddie is 4 weeks old today, and she is the perfect treatment plan! There is nothing like a baby to make you forget your troubles and focus on what is important.

If you would like to learn more about what I will be going through, this short 9 minute video explains radiation treatment for breast cancer specifically. I will be doing hypofractionated whole-breast irradiation (WBI) regimen for early-stage breast cancer. Because the radiation will be on my left side, it will involve:  Deep Inspiration Breath Hold (DIBH) - a technique for left-side breast radiation that involves taking a deep breath and holding it for 20–40 seconds. This expands the lungs, pushing the heart away from the chest wall and significantly reducing radiation exposure to the heart. 

For all the other science nerds like me - this is the standard treatment of 42.5 Gy in 16 fractions. A gray (Gy) is the unit for measuring the absorbed dose of ionizing radiation. 16 fractions is basically 16 doses which will be given 1 dose per day (Monday- Friday) for 16 days.

If I have emailed you, you are familiar with my email signatures (I have two different ones because they were both so good and could not just choose one, so one is sent from my phone and one from my laptop). I leave you with these:

"Peace is the deliberate adjustment of my life to the will of God." ~Anonymous

"Though He slay me, yet will I trust Him."  ~Job 13:15

Until Next Time~

Shari

Hurry Up and Wait

 Waiting is not easy. I am a woman of action! I like to tackle problems head-on and get things crossed off my list. So, when I received my cancer diagnosis and was told just to wait until my body had healed from surgery before we start any testing or treatment, I struggled to just sit and wait. Personality aside, it is hard to hear that you have breast cancer and then be told we can't do anything about it for a few weeks. Every part of you is screaming to get rid of all the cancer cells, and the last thing you want to do is nothing.

Waiting is not easy, but in those moments of impatience, fear, and uncertainty, the Lord meets us with His still small voice, if we just pause and listen. My last few weeks have been a sobering practice in quietly trusting and waiting. The main thing I have learned is that I am not good at it! This is definitely a weakness that will require discipline and practice to develop. If you are familiar with the Bible at all, you may have heard of Mary and Martha. 

Mary, Martha, and their brother Lazurus, were friends of Jesus. In Luke chapter 10, Jesus is visiting them and Martha is busy hosting, while Mary sits at his feet to listen. Martha complains that Mary isn't helping, but Jesus says Mary choose what is better. Mary is seen as quiet, thoughtful and devoted, while Martha is practical, busy and task-focused. 

I am definitely a Martha, and while I enjoy serving, it can sometimes be a distraction. I stay busy to avoid thinking about serious things, or to keep my mind from wandering. This is not inherently bad, but if I fail to properly deal with thoughts and emotions, rather than keeping them out of my mind through busyness, then I also fail to learn and grow from those things. Additionally, I can be so task-focused (i.e. have to get my to-do list finished), that I fail to see the people around me that are the better option to choose. Somethings do need to get done, but at the end of the day, the people in my life are WAY more important than my to-do list!

A cancer diagnosis has a way of putting life into perspective. I don't want my legacy to be my clean house or manicured lawn. I don't get any brownie points for getting my list completed. I hope the day of my death is still far in the future, but when it does come, I hope I am remembered as someone who loved others and learned to sit quietly at the feet of my Savior. I want to live well today, so that one day I will also die well.

I had my radiology consult today, and it is more of the "hurry up and wait" process. My MRI is scheduled for next week. We had to wait several weeks post-op in order to get good results. I can't start radiation until we get that MRI report. If they find any other evidence of cancer, I may still need additional surgery and radiation cannot start until 8-12 weeks post-op. Additionally, if the scan show anything, chemotherapy will be back on the treatment plan as well. So, today I try to be okay with the waiting, and trust that God will meet me in the waiting.

Until Next Time~

Shari

Giving and Receiving

 You may have heard it said that it is more blessed to give than to receive, but is it?

We heard someone say that public speaking is people's number one fear, apparently a more common fear than death. So people would rather be the one in the coffin than the one giving the eulogy! I have never fact-checked this, but it is a funny reminder of how quirky humans can be.

I have just finished rereading a couple of books that are wonderfully practical if you want to be a good friend to someone going through something difficult. When I first read these books, I read them more from the perspective of being the friend that would be doing the helping, although I admit that my long journey through suffering has given me a unique perspective.

Now that I am navigating a breast cancer diagnosis and treatment, these books have me looking through a different lens. Thankfully, my treatment plan seems pretty minor compared to what it could be, but a cancer diagnosis is still very hard. I have been wrestling with the role of "giving and receiving" for years, but it has been in my thoughts all the time lately. 

If I am being honest, giving seems better to me, and easier too. I think most would say that they would prefer to be the one serving at or donating to the local food pantry or nursing home, rather than being the one receiving the help. Admitting you need some help can feel like a failure or weakness. Asking for a friend to lend a hand, especially if you are in a situation where you cannot do it for yourself, is very humbling. When you are the giver, there can be a sense of superiority. We help someone else, feel good about ourselves, and might be glad we aren't the one needing the help. When you are the receiver, there can be a loss of autonomy and independence.

I have a community of people who care about me and want to help. Helping others is a wonderful way to show the love of Christ to those who need care. Likewise, learning to let people help is also being Christlike, and a loving way to let people show care and concern for us. Giving people the chance to serve is a gift just like being willing to serve others is. Both the giver and receiver need to grow in grace and humility, always being careful not to overstep (i.e. the giver forcing help upon someone, or the receiver taking advantage of people's generosity). I am currently working through this pride that wants to not let me admit I need help, while honoring the fact that I am introverted and sometimes need space in my suffering. 

My prayer for us all is that we would learn to be faithful in serving while also letting others serve us. Even Jesus, who came to serve and not be served, who washed his disciples' feet, allowed Mary Magdalene to wash his feet with her hair. (Matthew 20:28 and Mark 10:45; John 12:3; John 3:1-17)

I have recommended these books for years, and your friend does not need to be diagnosed with cancer for the practical advice to be valuable! My prayer is that we all learn to be both good givers and receivers. These books can help us navigate being a better friend as we walk together through a hard providence.

1. Just Show Up: The Dance of Walking Through Suffering Together by Kara Tippetts and Jill Lynn Buteyn
2. Loving Your Friend Through Cancer: Moving Beyond "I'm Sorry" to Meaningful Support by Marissa Henley

Until Next Time~

Shari

Live Like You Were Dyin'

 Cancer is a scary word. The first two weeks after I received the phone call letting me know I had breast cancer were very hard, especially before we saw any specialists. You have to actively keep your mind busy, so you don't start going to worst case scenario, but you do start to think about death. Having faith doesn't mean that you are never scared, worried or have doubts, but like in many of the Psalms, we lament our current condition, pour our hearts out to God, and then let Him lift us up and remind us to praise Him in the midst of difficult news.

We are beyond grateful for the Lord's steadfastness in this hard providence and rejoice over all the good reports with my cancer being caught early. Yet I continue to wonder how I might live my life better; with the knowledge that death awaits us all.

In the words of the great philosopher, Tim McGraw, "Someday I hope you get the chance to live like you were dyin'." This year has started off with lots of changes- surgery, new diagnosis, first grandchild, change in job and church and an extended path of treatment ahead. The one common thread so far for me has been to consider more fully what I want to spend the rest of my life doing. 

I have seen this video about Ben Sasse mentioned many times this past week, so I finally watched it. This encapsulates so much of what I have been thinking about. We are all facing death but some people, like Ben, know it is coming very soon. What things are most important? How do we spend our time? Do we focus on things of temporary pleasure or eternal significance?

I haven't even entered the treatment phase for my breast cancer yet, but I already know God is working in my heart to redirect my affections toward Him and get me thinking more about how best to redeem however many more days that He will graciously provide. I pray we all get the chance to live like we were dyin' because we all are.

Until Next Time~

Shari

Roller Coaster

 Five weeks ago, I had surgery. 

Four weeks ago, I was told I had breast cancer. 

Three weeks ago, the oncologist told us it looked like good news: caught early and favorable tumor markers. We had a plan to get more testing and consultations with a surgeon and radiologist.

Two weeks ago, I began the last two weeks at my job, which I have loved, but I have a higher calling....

Last week, our first grandchild was born, and I will have the privilege of providing childcare for her in just a few short weeks. #bestjobever

Yesterday, my consultation with the surgeon provided more good news. The ultrasound of my lymph nodes looked good, so she will not do a biopsy of the nodes (it has some risk and will not change the game plan). We are waiting for some more tests, but I will be seeing the radiologist soon and have been cleared to begin radiaiton treatments. The surgeon reiterated that my cancer really is the best case scenario. Stage 1, non-aggressive, slow-growing, hormone positive (responds well to medication). She explained that the genetic mutation of the Bard1 gene that I have, put me in the hish-risk group to develop breast cancer, but now that it has happened, the risk of developing a different breast cancer drops to an average risk.

I still have radiation treatments to get through (not sure how long yet), anti-estrogen meds to take (5-10 years), and a lot of monitoring, tests, scans over the next few years, but they do not expect to find any more cancer beyond what was already removed, and put my long term survival rate at 98-99%. 

I am just beyond grateful for that surgery that caught this cancer so early!! Cancer can be so scary, but it sounds more like a short, rough patch instead of the longer "battle" I was gearing up for! Praise God for His mercy in this emotional roller coaster that has been 2026 so far!