We Are Not That Different

In my medical journeys I have met many different people. I can put them into two groups for the purpose of my blog today. There are pessimists and optimists. In other words, there are people that can't see anything beyond their pain and loss of ability to do what they enjoy, and there are others that focus on what they still can do, and the good things in their life. My doctors believe that the people who can focus on the positive have better outcomes than those who don't (or perhaps can't).

In waiting rooms across the area, I have met many people who feel life isn't worth living because of their disability, diagnosis, or pain. I have also met people who seem happy despite their struggles. In most areas of my life, I think I probably fall firmly in the pessimistic camp, but if you have read any of my blog posts you might see that, by the grace of God, I am able to see the positive blessings in my life much more clearly than the struggles.

So what does all this have to do with my post today? Not much, except I wanted to point out the way we tend to group people into categories. We think in terms of black and white, even when we don't admit it. I personally like thinking in black and white terms because it makes sense. It is a neat, orderly way to view the world, but the problem is that the world is messy and gray. It took me years to figure that out. This is what my post is about. I am straying from my normal medical post to broach the subject of *gasp* politics.

I have witnessed an alarming trend the last few years, and I want to start a dialogue. We are more aware of bullying now than perhaps any other time in history, and yet my social media newsfeeds are filled with adults calling each other, groups, political parties, and specific people idiots (and much worse). Sadly and frequently these are the same adults that I see standing against bullying for their children, and fail to see that they are engaging in the same behavior.

Here is the truth: You are NOT an idiot, and neither am I. We are human. We make mistakes, we fail, do things we should not, say dumb things sometimes, and the list goes on and on. We have all been there. We have believed things we later discovered were not true. We jump to conclusions. We pass judgment (frequently without having all the facts). We criticize and name call, instead of truly trying to understand and learn from people who think differently than we do.

I have friends on both sides of the "aisle". Liberal and conservative. Christians, atheists, and other religions. Different races, classes and backgrounds. No matter what each of us believes, the truth is we are all human. Fundamentally the same. Largely comprised of oxygen, carbon, hydrogen, nitrogen, calcium, and phosphorus. (for you Star Trek TNG fans we are "useless bags of mostly water" 😃) When we boil it all down to that, NONE of us should feel superior.

As a nation that once prided itself on standing "united", we are the most divided we have ever been. We have lost the ability to have a civil conversation on many "hot button" issues. We dig our heels in, read things that confirm our own biases, and watch news stations that feed us the spin they know we already agree with. In a lot of ways, social media makes this all easier. "Trolls" are free to roam the internet and say things no one would ever say to someone's face.  It emboldens all of us to some extent. We "like" and "share" with little to no effort, and also with no confirmation of facts. We believe what we believe and are not likely to listen to groups who espouse contrary views.

I only bring this all up today, because yesterday, as I scrolled through social media, I saw posts from one group of friends who were calling certain political people morons. The very next post, from my other group of friends, was calling a different person crazy (which is a word I dislike for many reasons), and I felt disheartened. First, it is hard to hold out hope that our country can be united again. Do you remember the afternoon of September 11, 2001? Do you remember that feeling? Remember that you hugged your neighbor, despite their political or religious leanings? Can you fathom today that a random group of strangers would stop and pray, even if they all believe differently, simply because they had to do something....TOGETHER?

I feel sad that our nation that this era is punctuated with bullying at every age. That we are quick to name call, and spread "news" without really knowing it's source, or the bias of the person reporting it. I am especially downtrodden when I consider my dear brothers and sisters in Christ, fellow Christian believers, who post the same inflammatory, derogatory remarks, despite knowing that God clearly calls us to love our neighbor.

So, here it is. I love YOU. I believe with my whole heart that you and I were both created in the image of a holy and just God, and for that reason alone, you are deserving to be listened too, to be loved. We can love our neighbors (and are in fact called to do so) because He first loved us (1 John 4:19, Mark 12:31).

It is true that life has a lot of gray areas.  I pray that you might forgive me if I have ever said or done anything to imply you were stupid, or less than. I pray too that we might be able to share our beliefs in a non-judgmental way, really listening to each other, even if we still walk away with differing viewpoints.

This whole post was started because of a short clip of a documentary, and an interview of it's maker on WGN this morning. The documentary is called List(E)n. The preview shows the filmmaker bringing two people together over coffee to hear each other out. Two people on the opposite side of important issues, coming together to listen. This is how we stand united. We can believe differently, and still show respect and compassion for each other. Part of what made America what it is, is the ability to freely choose our religious and political views without fear of repercussions. Sadly, I fear this is no longer the case.

We are not that different. We are quirky and can be wrong sometimes (maybe even often?). We can be united in the fact that we have more in common than we do differences, or we can continue to see only the differences that divide. We can be optimistic and move forward together, choosing to focus on our similarities, or we can continue to bully everyone who doesn't believe the same as we do. Then maybe we can change our nation's motto to "divided we now stand". Can we start the conversation here? Tell me, what do you think?

Until Next Time~
Shari

Is There Something In My Teeth?

Have you ever come home after a day out, and realized you had food in your teeth (or maybe it was toilet paper stuck to your shoe, a spot on your shirt, or something in your nose)?

You immediately start to wonder:

How long it has been there? 

Who saw it? 

Why didn't anyone tell me!?!?! 

You may feel embarrassed or ashamed. It might make you more vigilant on your next outing, so you double check to be sure it doesn't happen again.

This has happened to me. More than once actually. We confidently walk around a party, meet new people, and enjoy the company of old friends, all the while unaware of the leftover meal protruding from our smile. It is blatantly obvious to everyone else around us, yet we remain blissfully ignorant. People might turn away from us, or stop talking to us because they are uncomfortable, offended or grossed out. Some may talk about us to the other party goers. A few may bravely whisper in our ear, and help us avoid further embarrassment.

Once we become aware of the food in our teeth, we would likely hurry to the nearest bathroom, and look into a mirror to examine our teeth.

I was thinking about how this situation is similar to us recognizing our own sin. Or perhaps, our failure to recognize our own sin. We all have sins that we seem unable (unwilling) to see, and yet are on display for all the world to notice. We fail to recognize these sins perhaps because we have hardened our hearts to them, or have excused them as personality traits, or simply bad habits.

Hopefully, we all have friends that would quietly confront the issue with love, rather than walk away and leave us in our current condition. One that would love us enough to overcome their fear of confrontation, talk to us privately, and point us back to Christ in repentance. Matthew 18:15 tells us to do just that.

God's moral laws, the Ten Commandments, act like a mirror for each of us. We look into that mirror, seeing the perfection and holiness of Christ reflected back to us. The mirror shows us our sinfulness; just as the bathroom mirror exposes the specks of food in our teeth.

James 1:23-25 warns us not to just glance into the mirror, then turn, walk away, and promptly forget what we look like. In the same way we would not leave the food in our teeth, and just walk back out of the restroom, and continue to mingle. We need to deal with the problem.

Unlike getting parsley out of our incisors, we cannot simply get all the sin out of our lives. The mirror simply reveals the truth that we all fall far short of God's holy standards. We cannot just "fix" ourselves. However, our good deeds don't earn favor or status in God's kingdom, the way perhaps, a clean smile earns friends at a party.

This quote I just read in the book, The Imperfect Disciple by Jared Wilson, seems to explain this concept fairly well:

"You are more sinful than you realize, but you are also more loved than you know." 

We are hopelessly sinful. The bad news is that we can never be good enough to get to heaven, or earn God's love. The good news is that God so loved the world that He sent his son to die for our sins. God offers us that free gift of grace, through faith in Christ, to all who believe and repent of their sins.

Jesus took our place. He paid the penalty (took our punishment). When we trust in Him alone for our salvation, God sees Christ's perfect reflection when He looks at us, instead of our sinfulness. This is why it is called the "good news". That is what is so amazing about grace, that it is none of us, and all Jesus Christ. (John 3:16; Galatians 3:13-15, 24-26; Romans 5:8, 3:23-25)

Hopefully you have checked the mirror, and don't have anything in your teeth! More importantly, I pray we all look into God's Word, compare ourselves to that standard, and find that we are all lacking. I pray that drives you to Christ, seeking His forgiveness, and placing your trust in him alone.

Until Next Time~
Shari

P.S. The Imperfect Disciple: Grace for People Who Can't Get Their Act Together by Jared C. Wilson, is a wonderful book full of grace for those of us who struggle to see past our sins, and a beautiful reminder of Christ's finished work.

Like It Really Matters

The internet has changed the world. Growing up, I still went to a library to research answers, talked on a phone with a cord, and the only games I played were done with a board (until I got an Atari). Recently I have really appreciated that I can sit on my couch and schedule appointments, order food, research anything, and keep in touch with distant friends and family. This is particularly of interest to me because of my disability. I have mentioned plenty of times how living with a disability can be isolating. It also makes getting out and about more difficult. If going to a library to research an answer was still the only way to get information, I am afraid many of my interests would just not be investigated further.

The internet has a lot of great attributes. Besides the things listed above, we have instant access to world wide news, endless music, and how-to videos. It has done many good things, but it also can make it too easy to stay isolated. It is less personal in a lot of ways. It is nothing like real life fellowship, and is a poor substitute for a visit with friends. We have gotten so use to using the internet for everything, that we rarely question what we read. Now fake news spreads like wild fire. We read, click share, and believe things, without ever doing our own research. This internet complacency is obviously not good, and sometimes I fear what our world will look like in a couple decades of social isolation and fake news!

This whole post arose out of this photo that popped up on my FB page a this morning-

Another thing the internet, and social media in particular, has done is entice us to seek approval. We constantly check our phones afraid we might miss something. It is easy for the internet to make us a bit neurotic. We post and watch to see if there will be likes and comments. Viral posts and videos are like striking gold in our society today. Attention-seeking and people-pleasing feed our desire to be "liked." We have a tendency to become self-centered. We feel disappointment when our friends are taking their third vacation this year, and we aren't going anywhere....again.

Does it all matter? Does it matter if everyone likes our funny cat video, or our vacation photos? Should it matter? Of course it is easy to say no, it doesn't matter. We say, "I don't care what everyone else thinks." Then, we are privately disappointed. (Am I alone in this?) Part of the reason I share my struggles is because it appears to me while scrolling through my newsfeed that everyone else's life is perfect. Or at least it is easy to start thinking that way. 

"My husband got a raise" 

"My child won an award" 

"We just bought a new home" 

We see smiling family photos and happy stories. We begin to wonder why we can't get our acts together like everyone else. Rarely does someone post things like:

"I lost my job and have no money for food"

"My spouse cheated" or "I cheated"

"I yelled at my children today"

"I am hurting/struggling"

The internet and social media would have us to believe we are different. We are failures and everyone else is successful. Bitterness, sadness, shame begin to creep in to our hearts, as we compare ourselves with others.

We must be vigilant over our hearts. There is a war going on. Actually there are two wars. There is a war raging within us, one between the spiritual man and our sinful flesh. The other war is the spiritual battle that goes on in the heavenly realms for your very soul (Ephesians 6:12). The battle is real, and it has serious, life-threatening consequences!

As believers, we are called to be pleasers of God, and not people pleasers. We need to do and think what God would "like", what is pleasing to Him, and not do things hoping others will "like" it.  We live in a society that tells us that you are nothing if you don't have fans, followers, and likes, but we serve a God that calls us sons and daughters. We have been grafted in to His family vine. We are to be followers of Jesus Christ. We ought to live lives, like the apostle Paul, that allow us to say "Be imitators (followers) of me, as I am of Christ." (1 Corinthians 11:1) Those are the kind of people I want to follow, and the type of followers I want!

How do we overcome this societal pressure? It will be a daily battle. We must fight to keep our eyes fixed upon Christ. We must remember that we are in a battle, and not get complacent. If you are not a believer, not a follower of Christ, do not think that you are excluded from this battle. Your unbelief, and denials do not negate the FACT that this war is raging around you. Your soul is the prize. You have two choices: serve God or not. By not serving God, coming to Him in repentance and faith, you are serving your soul up on a silver platter to the enemy who "prowls around like a roaring lion, seeking whom he may devour." (1 Peter 5:8) This enemy is Satan himself. Choose this day whom you will serve, for tomorrow is promised to no one (Joshua 24:15).

I will leave you with this; praying that you and I both would put on the whole armor of God, and open our mouths to proclaim boldly the mystery of the gospel.

"Finally, be strong in the Lord and in the strength of his might. Put on the whole armor of God, that you may be able to stand against the schemes of the devil. For we do not wrestle against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the cosmic powers over this present darkness, against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly places. Therefore take up the whole armor of God, that you may be able to withstand in the evil day, and having done all, to stand firm. Stand therefore, having fastened on the belt of truth, and having put on the breastplate of righteousness, and, as shoes for your feet, having put on the readiness given by the gospel of peace. In all circumstances take up the shield of faith, with which you can extinguish all the flaming darts of the evil one; and take the helmet of salvation, and the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God, praying at all times in the Spirit, with all prayer and supplication. To that end, keep alert with all perseverance, making supplication for all the saints, and also for me, that words may be given to me in opening my mouth boldly to proclaim the mystery of the gospel." Ephesians 6:10-19 (ESV)

Until Next Time~
Shari

Bloodlines

We just returned from southern Indiana and my family reunion. Let me start by saying that a drive that takes 5 hours without any stops (and trust me, we make LOTS of stops) was way harder physically than I expected, but I am so very thankful I made the trip! I got to see my father (been a few years), and aunts, uncles and cousins, some of whom I haven't seen in decades, and others I didn't even know I had!

One thing that struck me was that although we didn't really know a lot of the people, the common bloodline connected us in a way that made conversations easy and enjoyable. There were plenty of laughs, and hugs, and stories. This just has me thinking about family, and what that really means. You know I am getting more sentimental as I get older! :)

Sharing the same heritage connects us in a way that is difficult to explain. Have you ever stepped into an elevator full of strangers? I think we all know how quiet and uncomfortable that can be. When you are with relatives, that awkwardness seems to disappear. We feel a level of comfort that we don't have with strangers.

I also have learned that family relations can be difficult. We don't choose our family. This means that there will be people that you wouldn't necessarily choose to be friends with, but because they are family, you work to overlook their annoying habits, personality quirks, and other things that would normally drive you crazy. Family members can hurt you more deeply than strangers can too, because of the emotional connections we share.

Last night, I was thinking about the church. The Bible says that followers of Jesus Christ are adopted by God, making us brothers and sisters in Christ. When we walk into a Bible teaching church, filled with followers of Christ, there should be a level of comfort and connectedness like I felt at my family reunion. We share the same bloodline- that of Jesus Christ, our Lord and Savior, who shed His blood for us. Like our "birth" family, there can also be trying situations and difficult relationships with our church family members.

Unfortunately, families dissolve and fight. People get divorced, siblings argue and don't speak, and churches split apart. Why? That has been what I have been thinking about since this weekend. The most obvious answer to me is that we are all sinners. We can be selfish. We can set our expectation of others so high, that they can't possibly live up to them, and then we get disappointed and angry. Chad and I joke a lot about this actually. Long ago, God helped me to realize that the majority of our arguments were due to me expecting Chad to be and to do things he isn't capable of being and doing. In a lot of ways, I expected Chad to fill roles that only the Lord can. When God graciously revealed that my own selfishness was at the root of it, I set my expectations lower. I told Chad that I need him to work and provide, as God allows, and I will be content with that. I started to do all the things that I am capable of doing, and took my struggles to God in prayer. Very quickly I realized that I spend most of my days very content, and when Chad exceeded my expectations (which was easy to do when you just expect him to work), and he did something I wanted him too, I became grateful and told him so. Previously, I was just nagging constantly, and telling him he isn't doing enough. We fought a lot and it was damaging the intimacy that a married couple share.

So, what is the point of all of this? I guess I was thinking about what a great time I had this weekend catching up with relatives. I was also reminded of churches that I have been to that are unfriendly, and unwelcoming. It made me think that because of the shared bloodline- whether it is through your mother and father, or you are a believer connected through Christ's shed blood- we need to pray. Pray that we can be forgiving and that others will forgive us. Pray that we extend grace to others, and they will do the same. Pray that God would show us our own sinfulness before we dwell on the sins of others.

I will let you down. I will fail to do what I ought to do, and do things I shouldn't. I will upset you, say things I shouldn't and disappoint you. I hope that as family members, we can talk through our issues, give each other the benefit of the doubt, and offer grace and forgiveness. May we always be remembering that through Christ, God forgave us and has extended a large amount of grace to us, and we ought to do the same.

The older I get, the more important my family is to me, both the church family I see frequently, and the one of my heritage. There isn't anything I wouldn't do to help my family in need, and I pray for y'all. (For my southern girls!)

~Until next time,
Shari

Hospital Gowns and the Righteousness of Christ

I have had my share of doctor’s appointments, tests and ER visits. One thing that never changes is the fact that I don’t like putting on hospital gowns. No matter how many times I wear one, I still feel exposed. Do you know the feeling? Sitting there constantly checking that you are fully covered. Feeling vulnerable, insecure and self-conscience.

Many times I have been asked to go into the women’s locker room area of a hospital radiology department and put on a gown, then go sit in the separate waiting area until my name is called. You walk towards the waiting area, checking and rechecking that you are fully covered. You pull, yank, and adjust the gown as you sit and check again that the slightest movement didn’t uncover your most private areas.  Each person sits in the waiting area, no one speaks, no one makes much eye contact, everyone clutching their gown as if their life depended on it, and yet no feeling of security is to be found.

Romans 13:14 tells us to “put on the Lord Jesus Christ” and Philippians 3:9 states that we are clothed in Christ’s righteousness, not our own. When we have genuine faith in Christ as Lord, we are clothed in His righteousness. Unlike the hospital gown, His righteousness does not leave us exposed. God looks at us, and instead of our sinfulness and filthy rags, He sees the righteousness of Christ. We do not need to feel insecure and vulnerable. We can sit in the “waiting room” of this life fully assured that when our name is called, we can stand before God on judgment day fully covered.

Are you “fully clothed” in Christ’s righteousness, or are you constantly grasping at a thin gown to try and cover yourself?