Live Like You Were Dyin'

 Cancer is a scary word. The first two weeks after I received the phone call letting me know I had breast cancer were very hard, especially before we saw any specialists. You have to actively keep your mind busy, so you don't start going to worst case scenario, but you do start to think about death. Having faith doesn't mean that you are never scared, worried or have doubts, but like in many of the Psalms, we lament our current condition, pour our hearts out to God, and then let Him lift us up and remind us to praise Him in the midst of difficult news.

We are beyond grateful for the Lord's steadfastness in this hard providence and rejoice over all the good reports with my cancer being caught early. Yet I continue to wonder how I might live my life better; with the knowledge that death awaits us all.

In the words of the great philosopher, Tim McGraw, "Someday I hope you get the chance to live like you were dyin'." This year has started off with lots of changes- surgery, new diagnosis, first grandchild, change in job and church and an extended path of treatment ahead. The one common thread so far for me has been to consider more fully what I want to spend the rest of my life doing. 

I have seen this video about Ben Sasse mentioned many times this past week, so I finally watched it. This encapsulates so much of what I have been thinking about. We are all facing death but some people, like Ben, know it is coming very soon. What things are most important? How do we spend our time? Do we focus on things of temporary pleasure or eternal significance?

I haven't even entered the treatment phase for my breast cancer yet, but I already know God is working in my heart to redirect my affections toward Him and get me thinking more about how best to redeem however many more days that He will graciously provide. I pray we all get the chance to live like we were dyin' because we all are.

Until Next Time~

Shari

Roller Coaster

 Five weeks ago, I had surgery. 

Four weeks ago, I was told I had breast cancer. 

Three weeks ago, the oncologist told us it looked like good news: caught early and favorable tumor markers. We had a plan to get more testing and consultations with a surgeon and radiologist.

Two weeks ago, I began the last two weeks at my job, which I have loved, but I have a higher calling....

Last week, our first grandchild was born, and I will have the privilege of providing childcare for her in just a few short weeks. #bestjobever

Yesterday, my consultation with the surgeon provided more good news. The ultrasound of my lymph nodes looked good, so she will not do a biopsy of the nodes (it has some risk and will not change the game plan). We are waiting for some more tests, but I will be seeing the radiologist soon and have been cleared to begin radiaiton treatments. The surgeon reiterated that my cancer really is the best case scenario. Stage 1, non-aggressive, slow-growing, hormone positive (responds well to medication). She explained that the genetic mutation of the Bard1 gene that I have, put me in the hish-risk group to develop breast cancer, but now that it has happened, the risk of developing a different breast cancer drops to an average risk.

I still have radiation treatments to get through (not sure how long yet), anti-estrogen meds to take (5-10 years), and a lot of monitoring, tests, scans over the next few years, but they do not expect to find any more cancer beyond what was already removed, and put my long term survival rate at 98-99%. 

I am just beyond grateful for that surgery that caught this cancer so early!! Cancer can be so scary, but it sounds more like a short, rough patch instead of the longer "battle" I was gearing up for! Praise God for His mercy in this emotional roller coaster that has been 2026 so far!

Slowing Down

 Many of you have already heard the news from our oncology consult. No one wants to be diagnosed with breast cancer (or cancer of any kind), but we now know that the news seems to be about as positive as it can be at this point. So let me just start by saying PRAISE THE LORD!!

I spent two weeks waiting for this appointment and all we had been told was that I had lobular breast cancer. I did research a little bit about what was likely to be the course of treatment. I was nervous going into the appointment to hear the details, but actually felt ready for the battle that was ahead. The oncologist was great and spent over an hour with us. He explained everything they know for sure, and it really is best case scenario:

• I actually don't have true lobular breast cancer, but it is a mixed cancer, meaning it is invasive ductal carcinoma with lobular features. This means the cancer is easier to treat, and I will not need a mastectomy.
• He said that the cancer is only in the left breast, and that the changes in the right breast are more "cells that are behaving badly" and pre-cancerous changes, which the meds below will help take clear up before it becomes cancer.
• It is grade 1 which means it is not a fast growing cancer.
• The portion they found in the surgery was small, and although at this point we do not know if they got all the cancer in the first surgery, the doctor said chemotherapy would not be warranted in this case.
• The tumor is estrogen+, progesterone+ and HER2- which is all good news. An anti-estrogen medication for the next 5-10 years will be very effective at "starving" the cancer and help stop it from returning. These factors all indicate that treatment will be more effective. (including a low Ki-67 index which also indicated slow cancer growth)
  

Unfortunately, having had the surgery is a mixed bag. On the one hand, thank God I had the surgery and found this cancer so early! On the other hand, because of the surgery I am coming into the cancer diagnosis sort of backwards. The surgery is going to make testing and treament more difficult initially, and we will have to wait several weeks for full healing to happen in order to complete some next steps: 

• I have an ultrasound scheduled in two weeks to hopefully see any remaining areas of cancer in the left breast and to look at the lymph nodes.
• I have a consultation that same day with a surgeon to discuss how we can biopsy the lymph nodes. Normally they map the lymph nodes where the cancer is likely to spread, but the surgery has impacted the lymph system, and they can't do mapping any time soon. So, we will likely have to do anxillary lymph node dissection which is a bit more difficult and invasive as has some more risk.
• Next steps will be an MRI in mid-March to hopefully confirm if there is any cancer in either breast. I follow up with the oncologist about a week after that MRI.
• In the meantime, once I have had the ultrasound and surgical consult, the doctors will discuss my case and set me up with a radiation consultation. We are not sure I will need radiation, but because of the area of cancer and my age, the doctor thinks he would suggest we consider it for a better long term outcome.

I am so incredibly grateful for a community of people who have made us feel very loved. Your texts, cards, meals and more have been overwhelming in a very difficult season. Thank you all!

Until Next Time

~Shari

P.S. Grandbaby is due any day now, and we are over the moon excited!