Ignoring The Warning Signs

Sometimes you know that you have a problem. Maybe you are too busy to deal with it. You might not want to face the problem (denial- it ain't just a river in Egypt!). You could even be dealing with another bigger problem, and choose to ignore the warning signs. I am an endless supply of prayer requests, and am always dealing with multiple issues. Sometimes, it feels like the more I pray for relief, the more new things pop up!

I had been feeling the stomach discomfort, and knew I was taking more NSAIDS recently to help with pain. I have had an ulcer in the past (twice actually) from steroids and ibuprofen usage, so I know what the signs are. I was aware enough that there was a problem, that I started taking over the counter stomach meds, but honestly, I didn't want to think about one more problem.....so I didn't. Sometimes, you ignore the warning signs until you are doubled over in pain after every meal, and it refuses to be ignored any longer.

Doctors now have me on a stronger, prescription medication for a gastric ulcer, and I am adjusting my diet to help also. I was left with no other option, than to accept the fact that I could no longer ignore the symptoms. Choosing to overlook little "problems" can often be life-threatening. An ulcer, if ignored long term, can grow larger until it literally eats a whole in your stomach, and you could die. A medical condition that is very common, and usually benign, over time becomes a very serious issue.

Our lives are all like this. We ignore signs, especially when the problem seems small, and easy to overlook. We convince ourselves it isn't a big deal, or we will deal with it at a more convenient time. Sin is the same way. We can let ourselves off the hook regarding our thoughts, words or deeds. We make excuses or convince ourselves it won't happen again. Eventually, that unchecked sin can becoming life-threatening. The Bible tells us that all of us sin, but did you know that your conscious can become so dull, that you no longer feel the gnawing pain of your sin? Your heart becomes callous, with repeated sin, like hands that are submitted to daily hard work. Eventually it fails to cause us pain any longer, and therefore we fail to take notice and rectify the problem.

Some of you might be tired of my constant reminders of our sin. Our need to repent, and turn to Christ alone for salvation, but what is more loving? Should we let our loved ones just fly passed all the clear warning signs, when we know the bridge is out ahead, and they are heading for disaster? Of course not! If we could help a friend or family member to accept and deal with a difficult issue, before it becomes life-threatening, we most certainly would! God's word is clear that sin will result in death. Not just the physical death that we all with face, but spiritual death- left dead in our sins, being eternally separated from God in hell, where there is no longer any hope for salvation.

Don't ignore that gnawing pain in your gut, my friends. It was put there to awaken you from your spiritual slumber, and cause you to see the deadly consequences of your sin. Go straight the Thy Great Physician, God Himself, in faith, and repent today so your healing may be complete. 💜

Until Next Time~
Shari

Y'all Come Back Now, Ya Hear?

We just got home from Mayo. They repeated two tests yesterday that measure nerve function. Both tests showed stable results with marginal improvement in a couple of the numbers. As it turns out, I didn't get the clear results I was praying for, but that's okay. God did answer prayers for decent weather, safe travels, and I did not have too much pain. (I am worn out though!)

The doctor said we had many options including:

1. Stop the IVIg infusions, 
2. Take IVIg plus a 2nd medicine, 
3. Continue on as is, or 
4. Switch to something else entirely different. 

Hmmmm....well hey, at least I have choices! Basically, we feel like we are playing pin the tail on the donkey blindfolded! With any disease, it is often difficult to find the correct course of treatment for a patient. It is even more difficult with rare diseases. Many times you just have to make an educated guess, and see if something works.

We discussed all the options, but he doesn't have answers to all the questions I asked. He doesn't know for sure the medicine is doing anything. It might be that I just haven't gotten any worse in the past 6 months. He is "guardedly optimistic" that the medicine may be starting to make a difference. The first signs of this disease began back in 2005. It has been a very slowly progressing disease over 14 years. If the nerve inflammation and scarring is ever going to get any better, it will be a slow recovery process.

We decided to stay on the current course, but with IVIg infusions every 2 weeks, instead of weekly (mostly to give me a little break from the headaches and fatigue). Chad and I are good at making a decision and then sticking to it, so I will do 13 more infusions over the next 26 weeks.

In September, we will repeat all the tests again, and make a new plan.  If things continue to improve, we will adjust treatment as needed. It I am not better, we will stop all medications, wait a year....then, you guessed it, go back to Mayo for testing and a doctor appointment.

I did ask for prayer for clear results. I did get an answer to that prayer, and that answer was very clear, although the results weren't. I like things neat and tidy. I would love to just have all my symptoms packed into a nice little box, and be clearly labeled, but that does not seem to be God's plan. I like to get things done (fast preferably), check them off my list, and move on to the next thing. God, however, has me on the long, winding road, teaching me to sit back, slow down, and enjoy the scenery. I am learning not to take anything for granted. I am also learning to be present in the day. Today I can still get up, enjoy life, spend time doing things I love. I don't know what life will be like 6 or even 12 months from now (or if I will even be around to tell you), but I fully trust God, who is guiding my path. I wish He had me on the expressway, but the back country dirt roads aren't so bad either!

Thank you all for your prayers! I will keep everyone updated on our trips, and test, and everything else! To be continued.....

Until Next Time~
Shari

Why Me?

Several people over the years have said that I must question why all of this is happening to me. Why I have to suffer. Why I can't seem to catch a break. Why me??

My response has almost always been: "Why not me?"

Honestly, this question has still come to my mind many times. I may not have asked "why me?" in the pity party sense. Instead, I am in awe as I ponder the fate that my sin truly deserves, and yet know I received grace instead. The mere fact that I might enjoy anything in this life, moreover inherit eternal life through Jesus Christ, leaves me speechless.

The lyrics of the hymn How Sweet and Awesome Is This Place  capture this wonder:

...Each of us cry, with thankful tongues,

"Lord, why was I a guest?

"Why was I made to hear Thy voice,

And enter while there's room,

When thousands make a wretched choice, 

And rather starve than come?"

When you let that sink in, you can't help but to ask "Why me?"

I am still doing a study with the book by Jared C Wilson that I mentioned in this post. The chapter this week brought up a story of the author's friend (Richard) who found out he was dying of cancer. During that period, Richard wrote these words in an email to Pastor Wilson:

"I really feel so blessed that God would actually use me at all to attempt to bring Him the glory He so deserves. Why me, brother?"

Wow. I read through that a couple of times. What a marvelous and humble response from someone facing death. I won't presume to know God's plan, but this story hit me like a ton of bricks. My prayers have consistently been that God would strengthen me to suffer well. That I might suffer faithfully in a manner that would bring Him glory in the midst of these trials. So, when I read this story of a dying man questioning why God would graciously choose him to be a part of the bigger picture, it touched me.

The Westminster Shorter Catechism asks:
Q. What is the chief end of man?
A. Man's chief end is to glorify God, and enjoy Him forever.

I want God to be glorified. I know that through every twist and turn in my life, God has been growing me. I am not who I once was. I am also not who I will be. Sanctification is a process, and in some ways I have come a long way, and in other ways I have barely moved.

Life is not easy. Some days lately it seems overwhelming and impossible, in fact. Through all of these trials, God has revealed things in my own heart that are not pleasant. He has chastened and corrected me. He has convicted me of my need to love and serve others. He has humbled me, painfully so, at times. I know more about myself than I used too. I am learning a lot about others as well. God has deepened my faith and my trust in Him.

This week, I find myself echoing that book chapter, "Lord, why me? Why would you use me at all to attempt to bring yourself the glory that you alone deserve?"

As I ponder these things, my heart sings praises to Him. I feel thankful to know that He can (and will) be glorified in the midst of my suffering. He does strengthen and sustain me. He hears my cries, and He replies:

"Why not you?"

I pray you all might be guests with thankful tongues, and not make a wretched choice. May God be glorified through us all!

Until Next Time~

Shari