My Story continued:
Within weeks
of my birth, my pediatrician was concerned about my large head (yes, my sister
lovingly referred to me as “bubblehead”). The doctor told my parents that I was
probably a “water baby” and would be mentally retarded. At six weeks old, I
underwent what is now considered to be a barbaric medical procedure, a pneumoencephalogram
(trust me, you do not want to know). I was wrapped in a papoose, sedated, and
then sedated again as I apparently was quite a little fighter! (Some things
never change). And the procedure was performed. The test showed nothing except
an “enlarged frontal lobe” and my parents were sent home with me and no more
information.
I dealt with
a lot of sickness as a child. Frequent stomach aches, fatigue, miscellaneous
complaints of joint pain, headaches, etc. I got motion sick all the time. I
caught every bug that came around. I had horrible allergies. I missed a LOT of
school. I was diagnosed with my first ulcer in junior high, had my tonsils removed
in 9th grade and spent many weeks in various braces or on crutches
for different orthopedic conditions during high school. I am certain that my
mother’s propensity for being a hypochondriac didn’t help matters any. I saw a
few doctors, had many tests and several abnormal results, but nothing
definitive.
When I
became an adult I still dealt with fatigue and some occasional joint pain, and I hated not getting any answers from doctors, disliked taking medication, and never
liked the doctor’s insinuations that I was crazy. In an effort to avoid being
labeled a hypochondriac like my mom, I toughed it out and stopped going to the
doctors for the most part unless absolutely necessary. I went through two
rather difficult pregnancies and passed my 1st kidney stone while
pregnant with my daughter; other than that things weren’t too bad.
Fast forward
to 1998, Chad was doing well in his job as a union carpenter, and I was in the
electrician’s union apprenticeship program. We were well on our way to having
our best financial year ever, our marriage was growing stronger and the kids
both were in school and daycare. We were living the “American Dream.” Exercise
had given me more energy and helped me to be stronger for my job. I had been
bodybuilding pretty seriously for about 2 years at this point and was in the
best condition of my life. By most people’s standards our life was going well.
And then the bottom fell out. In February of 1998, I started having some back
pain. Within a couple of weeks it had gotten pretty bad. I assumed I pulled a
muscle during a workout session, and cut back a little. Another week passed and
the pain grew worse. I stopped working out all together. After a couple of weeks of total rest, I was
still in constant pain. It was getting hard to carry heavy tools, climb ladders
and even sit for prolonged periods. Fatigue crept back in, which I attributed
to my having stopped working out. In March I competed in a bench press contest
that I had signed up for before the pain started. It would be the last time I
would go to Gold’s Gym to work out. The period of time between March and May is
a whirlwind of doctors and tests and bad news. All we really knew was that I
was now in constant pain, and not just my back, but all of my joints. I
suffered with debilitating fatigue, daily headaches and extreme, unexplained,
weight loss. (I was down to about 90 lbs at my lowest). May 26, 1998 was my
last day at work. Doctors had very few answers. We knew that it was some sort
of autoimmune condition plaguing my body, but not much else.
Around this
same time, God, who is rich in mercy, sent a faithful servant to the job site on
which Chad had been working. Chad had been warned by fellow workers that this
Jesus freak was coming and he talked about Jesus and the Bible all the time. If
memory serves, they worked together, side-by-side for only two weeks. During
that time Chad heard about Christ and was invited to church repeatedly. Chad
would come home and tell me all about Christ. (I now find this amusing that God choose
my unsaved husband to be the first to share the Gospel with me!) We were told
to come to church for prayer. We were told stories of God’s miraculous healing
powers. We were desperate. I felt horrible and we had tried everything else, so
we packed up the kids and headed to church on the 3rd Sunday in
June, 1998, ready to give this God-thing a try, and hoping to get our lives
back to ‘normal’.
By this time
I could barely walk. I was so weak I needed help to walk more than a few steps.
I used a cane. Chad took over all the chores and shopping and most of the care
of the kids while I found myself unable to get out of bed more than a few hours
a day. Those were dark days. Doctors flat out told me they didn’t know my
prognosis and had no clue if I would live or not.
We walked
out of church that morning different. We
didn’t fully understand what we had just heard, but we both wanted to know
more. We went there that day seeking a healing, but instead found The Healer.
Our lives were forever changed. Within weeks, we were at church every time the
doors were open. We couldn’t get enough of the Word of God. We had recognized
our sinfulness, our utter hopelessness apart from Christ and need for
repentance.
As I started
to understand God’s word more and more, my dark days slowly started to get
better. I started feeling physically better too, as the medicine helped to
control the condition (which they have named many things over the years, but
that is for a different post). Two months after our first visit to church we
bought our first home to be closer to family because we needed the extra
support. Just a couple of short months later, just before Christmas 1998, we
withdrew our children from public school and began homeschooling them. One
cannot truly put into words what one experiences when the Light of the World
shines upon your heart and your eyes are opened to the Truth, but Chad and I
had begun the journey to discovering what it meant to love selflessly. We no
longer wanted both of us working constantly while someone else taught our
children. Not knowing my prognosis gave me an urgent desire to spend as much
time as possible with my children. It is amazing how clear your priorities
become when you get a glimpse of the fact that tomorrow truly is promised to no
one.
It has now
been a little over 14 years since our first encounter with God. My! How far we
have traveled; at times it seems we have chased our tails and gone in circles,
but overall I am amazed at all that God has allowed us to go through in order
that we might know and trust Him more fully. I won’t bore you with all the
medical details, but I have been through a lot these past few years. I have had
over a dozen surgeries, tried numerous medications, gone through more medical
tests than most people will undergo in a lifetime, and been humbled to receive
love, support and prayers from the Body of Christ as a whole. I will give you a
rundown of what I currently deal with in the way of medical issues. Most
significantly, in 2009 doctors found a 5 ½ inch long tumor in my abdomen. In
order to get the tumor out, 7 inches of the nerve running down the front of my
leg had to be removed, leaving my left leg partially paralyzed. I am able to
walk with the use of a full-length leg brace. I am still suffering from an
autoimmune disease, which doctors eventually decided was ankylosing spondylitis.
I have more than a dozen bulging discs from spinal degeneration, leaving me in
constant pain. I am currently dealing with numbness in both feet from
inflammation in my lower spine as well. The underlying condition is also to
blame for my ongoing stomach issues and my diagnosis of autoimmune inner ear
disease (cause tinnitus and hearing loss). Along with all that I have the more
common issues of high cholesterol and migraines, I have had 14 kidney stones
and also mild heart palpitations, called PVCs.
(There may be more, but I don’t want to scare you off!)
Some days
are harder than others, both physically and emotionally, but one thing that
remains constant is the love of a Father who never lets me down like my earthly
one did. I hope to share my journey through struggles, faith, understanding,
and, well, just life! Hopefully God can use this blog to encourage both you and
me in our walk for His glory and our sanctification.
Have a blessed day! Thanks for reading!
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