Suffering and I are well acquainted. Chronic pain has been my almost constant companion since 1998, when I first began having symptoms, and although it has changed in placement and intensity over the years, it has rarely left my side. I have read a LOT of books on suffering and what the Bible has to say about it, especially ones that help teach me to suffer well. While I still cry out to God in pain and plead for mercy and healing at times, my more consistent prayer has been that I might suffer well. Above all I want to suffer in a way that brings glory to God, and draws me nearer to Him.
Chronic pain is difficult, and I would not wish it on anyone. It is definitely not something I wanted, but without a doubt God has graciously used it in my life. I have learned to appreciate more of the little things, love others with greater sympathy, and trust God more fully. It is not the healthy person who seeks a doctor, but the sick. My illness has caused me to seek God more intentionally, more often, and with greater urgency than I would otherwise have done. He has answered those prayers in many ways, though often not in ways I had hoped.
I have noticed this week that my Bible study, random FB scrolling, and a book I am reading have all been great reminders on the ways God has answered those prayers. I am sure you have all had similar experiences when everything you seem to hear and read go together as if God is trying to get your attention on that topic. A couple weeks ago, as I was working through Colossians with a dear friend, we were confronted with the final verses of chapter 1:
"Now I rejoice in my sufferings for your sake, and in my flesh I am filling up what is lacking in Christ's afflictions for the sake of his body, that is, the church, of which I became a minister according to the stewardship from God that was given to me for you, to make the word of God fully known, the mystery hidden for ages and generations but now revealed to his saints. To them God chose to make known how great among the Gentiles are the riches of the glory of this mystery, which is Christ in you, the hope of glory. Him we proclaim, warning everyone and teaching everyone with all wisdom, that we may present everyone mature in Christ. For this I toil, struggling with all his energy that he powerfully works in me." (verses 24-29)
The commentary I am using (written by R. Kent Hughes) expresses that v.24 is one of the most widely debated verses in all of scripture! That is sobering as I seek to rightly handle the word of God! I suggest you read and study this portion on your own, because I will not be breaking that all down for you, but I did glean very useful insight from the commentary. Hughes states on page 248, "Paul knew his sufferings were for the Church and that they brought to him a special closeness with Christ. Every blow that fell on him fell on his Master and thus bound them even closer in mutual suffering." He goes on to talk about the story of Shadrach, Meshach and Abednego in the fiery furnace, and how God was with them. (Daniel 3:25) He ends that paragraph with this, "Paul knew sufferings are miserable, but the resulting sense of union with Christ is wonderful." (for you Veggie Tales fans, the "Rack, Shack, and Benny" tune is probably stuck in your head now. You're welcome!)
As I was scrolling through my Facebook news feed, I ran across this short video from Joni Eareckson Tada:
www.facebook.com/JoniEarecksonTada/posts/6418170734890062
After more than 50 years as a quadriplegic, and a breast cancer survivor, she knows more about suffering than many people, and she clearly expresses how hard it is to deal with the pain, along with how much we need Christ in the midst of it. Christ doesn't magically make everything go away or stop hurting, but he is there with us in the midst of the trial. He comforts and strengthens. He gives peace and wisdom and love. We are bound with Christ in a special closeness in the midst of our pain. He is an even closer, constant companion than our pain!
In addition to those two items, I am reading a new book. As I mentioned earlier, I have read SO many books on suffering, but this one is a bit different. "Dark Clouds - Deep Mercy: Discovering the Grace of Lament" By Mark Vroegop is a book that helps us to see the benefit of lamenting. Every chapter thus far has really shown me how and why to use biblical lament in prayer. We cry out to God, with our hurt and pain, for God knows our struggles and thoughts anyways, yet we also keep our eyes upon Him throughout. Lamenting allows us to feel the pain of our situation, grieve it openly while still seeking God in it's midst. I am not much of a book reviewer, but if you struggle with grief or pain of any kind, I highly recommend you grab a copy of his book and read it! The Psalms are full of such good examples on how to really cry out to God in our grief, and he masterfully teaches us how to benefit.
I figured since this same topic has been impressed upon me several times in the last two weeks, I would share it with you! I pray you find comfort also in the One who holds us in His great care.
As a quick update on me, it is time for our annual trip to Mayo Clinic. We head there on the 15th for several tests and then check in with my doctor before heading home late on the 17th. Another whirlwind September trip for us. I am hoping to discuss any other treatment options that may help me, and determine the risks of those medications in the middle of a pandemic. Lots to think through, and would appreciate prayers for wisdom, as well as physical strength. The jam-packed, short trips to Mayo are difficult, but it is too expensive for us to drag them out over several days, besides our pup, Willow, would miss me WAY too much! 😁
This year brings the added joy of being at Mayo during the same days as good friends of ours, and as weird as it is, I am looking forward to waiting room chats and quick bites to eat together between appointments. Like bringing a little bit of "home" along with us!
I am sure there will updates coming! (c'mon, you know I'm an oversharer) Please also pray we stay healthy, both now so I don't have to cancel my trip, and afterwards, since we think I got covid there last year (tested positive 6 days after).
Thank you all for reading!
Until Next Time~
Shari
