If you haven't already heard, I have decided to stop treatment, and let the disease progress naturally. I saw the doctor today, and he was in agreement due to the level of side effects I experienced this time. He did say we could try again in the future, if things take a sudden turn for the worst, and I feel it is worth the risks.
This choice is not:
Que sera, sera;
whatever will be, will be;
the future's not ours to see.
Que sera, sera
What I am saying is that the future is not mine to see. I do not need to worry and fret. My future has been settled, since the foundations of the world (Ephesians 1:4), I am not in control. I cannot know or change what the future holds, but I choose to trust. I trust that God, who has numbered my days and the hairs on my head, and has my name tattooed on His hand, is faithful to strengthen me for the future He has planned for me. I find peace in knowing that God knows me by Name. He knows what I need and provides for those needs.
I pray that I would be faithful in my suffering. That I might hold fast. That He would help me to number my days and consider my days (Psalm 90). That He would help me keep my eyes upon Christ, and not my circumstances. That He would allow me to use every day that He grants me for His glory. I know that whatever comes my way will be used for my good.
My prayer for us both is that we would serve Him faithfully whether that is done from a standing position, from a wheelchair, or even from a bed.
To God be the glory! Regardless of what happens to my physical body, I find peace in knowing that it is well with my soul! I hope it is well with yours too, my friends. <3
Until Next Time
P.S. The onward part of my title is covered in the above post. The upward part is regarding the elevator (pun intended) :) Mike, Mike, and Mike from HMS in Downers Grove (and yes, that is really the construction team's names!), came for the final consultation on Friday afternoon. We are waiting on the written quote, but really like their company and all 3 Mikes were great. Bar unforeseen circumstances, we should sign with them to get the architect going on a plan, and break ground (literally) shortly after the first of the year. I have applied for a grant that could provide up to $5,000. Please pray this is approved. I have raised just over $1,000 on my donation site. Well, on our way to covering the $60,000+ cost! Thank you all for your generosity!!