From 1998, when I first uttered the name of Christ as my Lord and Savior, until now, I have grown so much in faith and trusting Him, and in my understanding of His sovereignty. I would love to say I always pray that His will would be done and not mine, and the truth is I do utter those words after most of my prayers. Unfortunately, whether I say it or not, my next thought is doubt, or one of rebellion against that very idea. Does anyone else end their prayers with "not my will, Father, but yours be done, BUT I really hope you do what I want."
Most days I am not nearly that blunt. Many days that thought creeps into my head. Some days it is lurking just beneath the surface. My thoughts tell me that what I want really is the best answer, so surely God will agree. God has proven Himself faithful and true both in my life and all throughout history to His people. So then, why do I insist on getting my own way, or thinking I know what is best for me?
My life history has repeatedly shown, however, that I am unable to make "good" decisions for myself. God has mercifully used those choices in my life to draw me closer to Him, to remind me constantly of my poverty, and to show me my utter dependence upon His Spirit. When I really stop and reflect on all that He has done in my life, my mouth is silenced. If it were up to me, I would not have chosen to suffer. There are many things in my life that no one in their right mind would choose to go through, but looking back each thing was purposefully brought about for my sanctification, and for His glory.
Lord willing, over the next couple of days, I will flush out the subject of God's sovereignty and our feeble and repeated attempts to control everything.
Today, however, I ask you this, in what areas of your life are you still truly wanting your own will to be done, and not the Lord's?
Have a blessed Lord's day and I will see you all right here tomorrow!
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