Why Me?

Several people over the years have said that I must question why all of this is happening to me. Why I have to suffer. Why I can't seem to catch a break. Why me??

My response has almost always been: "Why not me?"

Honestly, this question has still come to my mind many times. I may not have asked "why me?" in the pity party sense. Instead, I am in awe as I ponder the fate that my sin truly deserves, and yet know I received grace instead. The mere fact that I might enjoy anything in this life, moreover inherit eternal life through Jesus Christ, leaves me speechless.

The lyrics of the hymn How Sweet and Awesome Is This Place  capture this wonder:

...Each of us cry, with thankful tongues,

"Lord, why was I a guest?

"Why was I made to hear Thy voice,

And enter while there's room,

When thousands make a wretched choice, 

And rather starve than come?"

When you let that sink in, you can't help but to ask "Why me?"

I am still doing a study with the book by Jared C Wilson that I mentioned in this post. The chapter this week brought up a story of the author's friend (Richard) who found out he was dying of cancer. During that period, Richard wrote these words in an email to Pastor Wilson:

"I really feel so blessed that God would actually use me at all to attempt to bring Him the glory He so deserves. Why me, brother?"

Wow. I read through that a couple of times. What a marvelous and humble response from someone facing death. I won't presume to know God's plan, but this story hit me like a ton of bricks. My prayers have consistently been that God would strengthen me to suffer well. That I might suffer faithfully in a manner that would bring Him glory in the midst of these trials. So, when I read this story of a dying man questioning why God would graciously choose him to be a part of the bigger picture, it touched me.

The Westminster Shorter Catechism asks:
Q. What is the chief end of man?
A. Man's chief end is to glorify God, and enjoy Him forever.

I want God to be glorified. I know that through every twist and turn in my life, God has been growing me. I am not who I once was. I am also not who I will be. Sanctification is a process, and in some ways I have come a long way, and in other ways I have barely moved.

Life is not easy. Some days lately it seems overwhelming and impossible, in fact. Through all of these trials, God has revealed things in my own heart that are not pleasant. He has chastened and corrected me. He has convicted me of my need to love and serve others. He has humbled me, painfully so, at times. I know more about myself than I used too. I am learning a lot about others as well. God has deepened my faith and my trust in Him.

This week, I find myself echoing that book chapter, "Lord, why me? Why would you use me at all to attempt to bring yourself the glory that you alone deserve?"

As I ponder these things, my heart sings praises to Him. I feel thankful to know that He can (and will) be glorified in the midst of my suffering. He does strengthen and sustain me. He hears my cries, and He replies:

"Why not you?"

I pray you all might be guests with thankful tongues, and not make a wretched choice. May God be glorified through us all!

Until Next Time~

Shari