Some days I feel great upon awaking, and have many spoons ( a lot of energy). Other days, especially days following busy days, I have few (if any) spoons. As I plan my day, I have to choose wisely what things are most important and do them first, assigning each task the needed number of spoons. Many days I run out of spoons before I finish my list. Occasionally, when I have a really good day, I try to catch up on everything, and then crash, needing several days to recover. I am still working to find the balance that is needed to accomplish necessary work, without wearing myself completely out and needing to rest for days.
Today we are headed to Minnesota for my appointment at Mayo. Just over 5 hours from our door to the hotel. I am not looking forward to the long drive, the long periods of time in waiting rooms, and exam rooms, the inevitable tests, and the poking and prodding that will result. I cannot avoid the upcoming fatigue and increased pain that is sure to ensue. I will need to be as careful as possible to rest when it is feasible, and let Chad help with things he can help with, so I can preserve spoons. We have a long drive, followed by an unknown number of days at Mayo, and then a long ride back home.
"Are we there yet?"
It is easy on a long road trip to grow tired, bored, or uncomfortable and wonder when it will end. Just like children, we would like things to be smooth sailing, fun and exciting without all the drudgery and waiting. Unfortunately, life doesn't work like that. Life is just like my upcoming trip to Mayo. There are highlights and lowlights. The are bumps, and turns, and occasional missteps that may cause us to travel in circles a while before finding our way forward again. We can quickly find ourselves wondering "are we there yet?"
The answer to that question is resounding NO! We have not, and will never "arrive" (at least not this side of heaven). We may gain victory over some areas in our lives with God's help, but the journey continues with all of it's struggles. If we find ourselves thinking we have it figured out, we have reached the finish line, or have "arrived", we should quickly check our hearts for pride and unbelief.
I have heard many times that "the more we learn about God, and His Word, the more we realize how much we don't know." I think that lesson applies here. While we will never achieve perfection in our lifetime, we should be able to look back at our lives, and see that we have made some progress along the way. If we are still hanging out in the parking lot where we started, or traveling in circles never getting anywhere, we should be examining our hearts to see if we are truly in Christ.
If your faith is in Christ alone, you can know that God is working in you throughout the journey. Thankfully God gives His children grace for today. If I start the day with 10 spoons or just 1, ultimately doesn't matter, but what does matter is whether or not I am found IN Christ. I am responsible to prioritize what I do with the spoons I am given today, and make decisions on where to expend my energy. Am I looking to Christ for grace and strength, or trying to get by on my own merits? Will I glorify God this day with all of the spoons He has given me, or live only for myself? God's grace is sufficient to get me through this trip, one day at a time. He will get you through your journey as well, if you believe and repent.
I continue to ask for prayers during our trip. May God be pleased to provide us with some answers, safe travels, and enough energy for each day.
Stay in the Word, and cling to Christ on whatever journey you are on this week! How will you use your spoons today?
Until Next Time ~
Shari